I was referred by a current client (I love referrals) to a family member who wanted to know what his condominium in White Plains might be worth. It is a nicely renovated unit he bought last year, but it is in a small building with fewer than 50 units and was built prior to World War II (we call this a “pre war”). We met this evening at the apartment and went through market activity on my laptop together. 

After evaluating what he bought it for, what was spent on updating it, the closing costs he paid for his purchase and the costs of selling, my advice was to stay put for now. He told me that he appreciated my honesty, because I made no money in giving that advice. 

Yes and no. I may not make a commission in the short run, but in the long run I have to do right by everyone. Do what’s in the best interests of the client and business will come from it. That’s how we’ve built the company. 

When it is time to sell, we’ll work together. 

We have had the good fortune to receive some cash offers submitted on company listings recently. Cash is nice; no mortgage, no appraisal, no banks, and fewer headaches. Agents who submit a cash offer have every right to be enthusiastic and upbeat about it.

However, there is a peculiar trend among cash offers which perplexes me, and consumers should understand this if they are in a position to make a cash offer.

A Cash Offer without proof of funds is toothless.

On more than one occasion, I’ve had these offers submitted sloppily with sparse terms and no proof of funds. In one instance, the agent submitting resisted the need, saying that once we have a meeting of the minds that proof of funds would be provided. This is about as logical as offering a wood stove a log as soon as it gives off some heat.

The idea that the buyer is some CIA operative or secret celebrity is foolish. The truly affluent often buy in a corporate name. What’s the big secret? Do you think the seller cares who the buyer is if they bring cash? All this nonsense about privacy does not preclude the basic protocols of business and good faith. It’s just a silly annoyance.

Sellers want to see the money in the account. You can black account numbers if you wish, but the benefits a cash offer give the buyer cannot be enjoyed if you cannot furnish proof that you are in fact a true cash buyer. Once an offer is accepted in principle, I have certain responsibilities of disclosure to other perspective buyers and if a bona fide offer is scared away because of an impostor, my sellers could suffer financially. That isn’t cool, and it isn’t good faith. It is subterfuge.

It takes 3 minutes to photocopy a statement or print something off your online account. You black out sensitive information with a sharpy and you are ready to do business. Consumers, if they want the best chance of getting  the deal, should insist that their agent provide their proof of funds if they want the deference that cash terms often enjoy.

My sellers will not respond to offers without proof of funds. Buyers should understand this, and act accoordingly.

Do you like privacy? 

Looking for that quiet getaway? 

Are you security minded? 

Perhaps you seek a nice pied-à-terre. Maybe you hate schlepping out the garbage all the way to the end of the driveway twice a week. 

Did you hear that the Hamptons and Catskills are “out?”

I have just the place for you. 

That’s right, a new opportunity has come up in Abbottabad, Pakistan that is a cool bargain at $1,000,000.00. Just 6-years young, this 3-story battle-tested mansion is just a stones throw from Pakistan’s national military academy and just became vacant this week. Sitting on a level acre with a privacy fence, it borders tranquil farmland and is perfect for an in law setup and plenty of guest space for out of town visitors. 

Some other amenities include mountain views, a balcony with a 7-foot wall (can you say safety?) and really solid gates. 

There is also a great area to incinerate your garbage – no more skunks or racoons knocking down your trash cans! 

The place has great bones, but does need some touching up; some carpets might best be replaced, a few wall holes to spackle, but the potential is enormous. Not only that, the place has had only one owner! 

Just this past week a helicoptor landing pad was installed (not warranteed, buyer should attend to their own testing and due diligence. Owner disloses some fire damage). 

* Please note that appraisal is subject to review.

* Please note that buyers broker to be paid by purchaser.

* Not approved for FHA financing.

* Phone and Internet not yet installed, but HEY! It’s virtually a new build!!!

Interior photos not yet taken, but why wait? 

Should I get a little R and R? You tell me.

Earlier today I put a slice of pizza in the microwave and began to input my bank card PIN. 

Not long ago, Ann mentioned Catherine’s excellent report card, and for a fleeting moment I began to worry that it wouldn’t comp out. 

On the positive side, I do remember the names of my children…better yet, they remember me. I’m glad, because I am busy. Every waking moment has been occupied for the past month, and I mean every…waking…moment. 

I wish it were just making lots of donuts. It isn’t. We’re fortunate to have plenty of pending transactions, but also many of the files we have in process are far more work than historically needed. Lenders are more cautious, buyers are more demanding, and sellers are anxios to make sure nothing goes wrong. That is quite a bit of hand holding, guidance, and reassurance that can double the work. 

This too shall pass. I know I am making hay while the sun shines, and I truly appreciate the efforts of my team and administrative staff to support the success of each client file. And my team of agents is truly inspiring. My new guys are hungry to do things right and are picking my brain, and my experienced associates have their noses to the grindstone. 

To the outside world, real estate isn’t labor intensive. You sign people up, input some data, and wait. Nothing could be further from the truth. The best metaphor I have ever seen is that of a duck on a pond: we may look like we have it easy to the naked eye, but below the surface we are doing some mad paddling. 

Quack. 

On September 11, 2001, I was preparing to drive my fiance’ to work at her office on the upper east side of Manhattan. Our wedding was in 18 days, her parents were literally in the air from Korea that very morning and due at JFK in a few hours, and the sky was blue. It was going to be a great day. 

It wasn’t. What I initially thought was a Thurman Munson sort of accident at the first tower turned the World Trade Center into a huge black smokestack from our vantage on Queens Boulevard as we drove toward Manhattan. When we got to her office and saw everyone surrounding the TV, we saw, live, the 2nd plane hit shortly after 9am. 

Within minutes, the words came from the reporters and our own mouths.

Attack.
Terrorist.
War.
Pentagon.

Within less than an hour, we realized that we were a cab ride from the ground zero of a coordinated attack. There are moments that slow down for me as I recall and will be with me forever. 

I recall thinking that fear and adrenalized fight or flight reflex I felt was akin to what my father must have known in Korea and the South Pacific. I understood what it meant to be attacked. And while I was not the target, I didn’t know if I could be. What would they get next? The Empire State building? Would they sabotage the subways? What would happen to my future in-laws plane? I never felt the same before or since. I’d never look at a veteran the same again.

Ann wanted to stay in her office in case her parents called; I’d have none of that. We English majors are too versed in irony for her to remain behind that morning. Port Authority bridges were closing but we took a local bridge into the Bronx and I drove home on highways so quiet it felt surreal. When we arrived at my mother’s house in Ossining, Westchester County, some channels had a test pattern and phone coverage was out in many areas. We spent the day going through the Rolodex of loved ones with any connection to Manhattan to assure they were safe. Older brother? Check. Nephew who attended college in Mid Town? Check. It took days to reach Ann’s aunt in Chinatown. With every person reached and answers trickling in from the media slowly, we counted blessings one at a time.

You know the rest. You lived it. We were fortunate that we lost no one from our immediate sphere of influence. Almost 20 of my fellow Villanova alums died that morning. I still hear stories recounted of brushes with eternity. The one I can’t forget is how one lady went back and apologized to the Starbuck’s barista whose coffee goof made her miss her train and saved her life. 

As for us, we married 18 days later with my in laws, a little sore from almost a week in a high school gym in Minnesota, present. We began having children immediately, because we believed in ourselves and our future. Our Four are our army of hope. 

And this morning, we explained to our oldest son Luke, why Mom and Dad were up all night and why people were dancing in the streets of New York and DC. 10 years later, US forces severed the head of the snake. Living in a mansion in the same town as Pakistan’s version of West Point, our Navy seals dealt justice to Osama bin Laden. 

I hope a Giant has awakened.

I hope the crisis of confidence our nation has had for so many years is past us. 

I hope we remember the good we are capable of. 

I hope we start acting like we believe in ourselves and the future again. 

My fellow New Yorkers know we’ve endured a brutal winter. The kids were busting out to enjoy the warmer weather, and even when it rained, they were out there to enjoy mother nature. We have a great vantange point from our back door and caught preciousness many times. These are just a few examples of the joy we eavesdropped on. 

I thought it might never come after the winter we endured, but Spring has arrived in Westchester County. As always, it is beautiful, with forsythia and cherry blossoms making their debut ahead of many other pieces of God’s artistry. 

This is Gregory (who has stolen Mom’s iPad) and his faithful Max in the shade of the cherry blossoms in our back yard. We have three huge trees that have been there since Mrs Hilpert planted them in the 60’s. I think of her, and how much she’d adore seeing my kids underneath them, every spring. 

Our neighborhood is known as Chilmark, and was built in the early 1960’s. It is very mature now and gorgeous in the spring. Many of my neighbors treat spring flowers the way others do lights at Christmas. I love it. 

That’s me shooting the picture in the reflection!

I love this place and feel blessed to raise my family here. 

If you’d like to find a house in Briarcliff or anywhere else is beautiful Westchester County, get yourself a free Listingbook account and search homes like an agent. 

Gizmos Drive Me Crazy. 

16 short months ago, I bought a Netbook laptop with a 3g Internet connection. It made me a tech savvy guy. I would see a client at their home and watch their jaws drop as I logged onto the Multiple Listing Service and produced a market analysis right before their eyes. There were huge advantages to this (and still are), but I got a dose of reality when Santa Claus left my wife her iPad this past Christmas under the tree. 

Watching Ann swipe her fingers along the iPad like a harp while she relaxed on the couch made me feel a twinge of envy. The Netbook was a little more work than that. It got the job done, but was more clunky. The advantage the Netbook had over the iPad was that it had the Internet connection- Ann’s device was Wi-Fi only on the home Network, so I had to buy a hot spot for it. 

Oh, by the way. If the jargon is beyond you, I am jealous. I’m not sure I am happy I understand all this stuff. I have a feeling that there is no voicemail, fax or cell phones in Heaven. 

So anyway, add my smart phone to the mix also. That gets me onto the Internet for many functions, such as my calender and email, but not when I am actually on a call. 

Are you starting to see some catch-22’s? It gets better. 

If someone calls me on my cell to come see their house while I am out of the office or driving, I have to ask to call them back to put them in my calender. That is not ideal. And opening my Netbook laptop in my car isn’t my idea of convenience, it is more like an inflamed bowel. Up until yesterday, I’d have to hang up on a live prospective client or conference Ronnie at the office in the call to schedule our meeting. Not ideal. 

I needed a better device to pull everything together. I thought of an iPad 2 (which ironically makes our iPad obsolete and renders the Netbook…what? stone age?), but also considered a Samsung Galaxy Tablet. 

The problem with these devices is that they cost an arm and a leg without a data plan, and I already had a ton of data contracts attached to outdated technology! It is like a maze trying to figure out how to have the right technology with the right data plans without having to spend a king’s ransom. WHY DO COMPANIES LIKE VERIZON LOCK US INTO LONG CONTRACTS FOR DEVICES THAT WILL BE OBSOLETE LONG BEOFRE WE ARE ELIGIBLE FOR AN UPGRADE?

Yesterday, however, the nice guy at the Briarcliff Manor Verizon store handled me big time. I got the Galaxy Tab for $199, transferred my Netbook’s 3g to the Tab, transferred my hotspot to the Tab also (allowing everything I own to get on the Internet anywhere), and now I am good to go- everything is still usable but I am caught up on functionality. A guy called today to schedule a quote for his house, and I pulled over while on the phone, put him on my schedule via the Samsung Tab, and drove home. Nothing else to do. And that is what I want. Simple. 

Anyone else wish we could go back to simple? 

I had the pleasure of helping a new agent get his very first listing tonight. It was our second time at the kitchen table of this particular seller, and it was a textbook case of my standing offer to all my guys: Put me in front of your prospects and I’ll get you their business. 

And there we were, going over the listing agreement for them to sign and hire us. 

Suddenly, the dreaded paragraph 13 reared its ugly head. The shock! The horror! 

What is paragraph 13? The part that says if they cancel that there are consequnces. I can retain my right to my commission. I can bill them for expenses incurred if they terminate me before the end of the term. Horrible right? 

“Why can’t we break the contract? Why would we be penalized?” 

Because if you could break it with no consequences as if it never existed, it wouldn’t be much of a contract, would it? 

They signed. 

I have barely had time to notice Active Rain’s server issues because of a frantic past two weeks in my own little corner of the world. Among many things, I had to take two days and drive to Rochester, 300 miles away, to handle some business with some properties we own. Like any busy broker, getting away in April is difficult. 

There is an art to driving 300 miles in a minimum amount of time without speeding. I used to make the drive frequently when Ann and I were first dating, and one of the keys is to not stop very often. 

The other key is to not doze off. Coffee is great for staying awake, but awful if you don’t want to become Joe Rest Stop. So, playing with body chemistry, you eat beef jerky. It is genius- caffeine to stay awake and salty beef jerky to dry you out and combat the diuretic effect of the coffee. You fight one catch-22 with another catch-22. I can drive 5 straight hours and not stop until I get home. But I typically stop once to stretch my legs. And buy more coffee and beef jerky. 

I’m glad to be back home. I was told the dog was out of sorts and slept in front of the door, and my kids missed me. All the while, I had to manage the goings on back home. Among the challenges were a listing we have under contract that was appraised in late March. Like many in our market, we have to sweat out appraisals, but it came out fine.

Just this week however, the underwriter asked for more comparable sales, which we provided. Requests like this are worrisome, because it starts to feel like the lender is looking for an excuse to not make the loan. Nobody likes the suspense, and it was particularly a weight on my shoulders because I assured all parties that we would not under-appraise. I found out just today that everything is OK with the file and it should be closing next week. My clients, whom we listed  in October, can exhale. So can I. 

Everything seems to be harder in this climate. Buyers are more cautious, news is bleak, and lenders seem more strict with each passing week (why couldn’t these dopes be 1/8 this careful back in 2003-006??). It’s like trench warfare; you pay for every foot advanced with hard work and sacrifice. All the while, you have to figure out solutions to problems that don’t create new problems. 

Stock up on coffee and beef jerky.