Sometimes a Little New York Sarcasm Helps

In New York, attorneys prepare real estate contracts. I’m no fan of this, but when in Rome, well, you know. I am involved in one particular transacton where contracts have been held up for a month while the buyer’s attorney contemplates her navel. This morning, after reading an email from this lawyer, I had enough. The following has been edited to protect the moronic: 

Ms Dingbat Esq: 

Attached is a copy of the lead based paint disclosure. Open it using adobe acrobat reader, print it (page 1 only), and have your client sign it. Please return it to the seller’s attoney along with all the other paperwork sent you over a month ago.

Once received, we will have the seller sign the disclosure, as well as every other form germane to the transaction, and provide you with a copy for your records. At that point, all fiduciaries in the transaction shall have conformed to New York State and Federal law, and a thousand legions of Cherubim and Seraphim will praise the name of God.

Please get going. Print the form. The seller is losing her patience.

Phil

I think I made my point.