I am quoted in AOL’s Money and Finance: People@Work story on people who relocate due to job opportunities. The story examines the details behind last month’s creaion of 290,000 new jobs, and I was posed a question about people who choose to sell their homes to relocate to their new job. 

I have one client who has relocated to Florida, and their house recently went under contract. 

Another prospective client is also relocating out of state, and they are putting their house up soon also (with me, I hope). 

In both cases, both homeowners were not offered relocation packages, and one even had to do a short sale. In the long term, these are the choices people must make to make the right career moves for themselves and their families. Choosing to sell at a loss to make a job change is not a decision made lightly, and I don’t envy the people who have to weigh the pros and cons of such a huge decision. 

J. Philip Real Estate has vast experience in the purchase of distress properties and is an asset for any buyer seeking a short sale, REO or bank owned foreclosure. We can help you in the following types of transactions:

• Short sale (listing and selling representing the owner) of any home in Westchester or greater metropolitan New York
• Purchase of a short sale in Westchester or Metropolitan New York
• Purchase of a pre foreclosure in Westchester or Metropolitan New York
• Purchase of a bank owned property (REO)

A happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers out there. 

This will be my own mom’s 59th Mother’s Day, as she qualified in late July, 1951 while my father was deployed in Korea. She renewed her membership in 1954, 1958 and um, 1967 when I stepped off the caboose of the fertility train. Mom was a Registered Nurse for over 50 years, one of which was spent pretty much at the side of my older brother Paul’s bed when he was hospitalized at the age of 4. Along with my dad she put all 4 of us through college, and is now the happy grandmother of 8 Farandas, aged 3 to 28. 

Her finest hour is difficult to pin down; she had quite a few of them. I do recall one moment when she came through, and I was not a little kid either. I vividly remember sitting with her and my father in front of Villanova University’s Kennedy Hall on the first day of freshman orientation before they returned to the empty nest. I confided in her that I was a little nervous, and she laughed. “Philip, you are a winner.” That came out of nowhere (not her typical vernacular) and helped quite a bit. I will go to my grave believing that I could hear her voice out of hundreds or thousands screaming my name at wrestling and rowing competitions. 

Today is Ann’s 8th Mother’s day. Our oldest, Luke, was born in 2002, less than 10 months after we tied the knot. She had labor pains starting Friday as I recall, and Luke made his entrance by c-section Tuesday morning. It was an ordeal, but when she held him for the first time, she said, no kidding, “Can we have 10 more?” That’s my girl. 

We had 3 more (and one miscarriage), and I wonder how many there would be if we met at 22 and not 32. Being my partner in the business and full time mom with one child with autism, a double jointed ambidextrous octopus has nothing on her. I look forward to the day I can take her to Aruba for Mother’s Day instead of making a husband omelet and going to work. 

So those are my two. Happy Mother’s day to you and yours, and thanks to all for making all those houses we sell homes. 

Staging is not rocket science. I have often stated that I am no expert in presenting a home, but I don’t think that it takes a Nobel laureate to figure out that people looking at homes priced a stone’s throw from (insert optional Dr Evil voice here) $1 Million have certain minimum expectations, among them a lack of poop when they walk through the place. 

I am an animal lover, and I do understand that if you are out for the day that the Tidy Bowl man can’t climb out of the commode tank and keep the litter box immaculate. But maybe you could clean that thing before you leave the place, or cut back on the high fiber cat food prior to getting an accepted offer. For about 20 bucks, they also sell covered litter boxes, which ensure that the odor and sight of poop can be contained just a tad. 

Again we are not talking about a rundown rental house in West Schnookville, we are talking about one of the most affluent zip codes on Planet Earth with a commensurate price tag, and all my people will ever remember about your place is that rancid sight and smell of a neglected litter box. 

Fecal matter does not sell houses. And while we don’t require white glove treatment for your $900,000 crib, it would be nice if you faked the effort. Yes, I know we should look past it all and imagine the house with our things in it, suiting our needs, blah blah blah. But it really would help if you acted like you give a crap (ouch, sorry). It is ill-advised to gross people out when trying to sell them something. 

Oh, and by the way: You may not know it, but yes, it does smell. And worse than you think. You are just used to it. 

Get with it. I’m just sayin’. 

Last night I broke bread at the Tuscan Grille with clients to celebrate signing contracts on their next home after 14 months of work on the project. It has been a journey. I listed their Bryant Gardens co op apartment last Winter, and we soon found a house in White Plains they loved. Unfortunately, the first buyer on their co op couldn’t qualify, and we went into the spring watching their prospective house remain active while we worked on a new deal. A week before our new buyer was approved by the co op board, the house was sold to another buyer. They were crushed.

They moved in with her parents after closing on Bryant Gardens while we continued our search, and over the winter we found another home that was pretty close to perfect. We put in a strong bid at the most we could borrow (99.1% of asking), but were told that no decision would be made for another week. 6 tense days later, we were still the high bid. On the 7th day, an all-cash offer over asking price bumped us off. 

What made this rough was their specific criteria for the next home to make things work for commute and proximity to family. They needed to be in White Plains with a certain style of home, and their price point did not give them room for much flexibility. So they searched Listingbook daily, and we saw everything that matched their needs. There was no need to see 100 homes over the months; we screened homes well, and I have to admit it made things efficient. I probably showed them 20-25 places. 

Two weeks ago, a gem appeared on the White Plains market. The location was close to perfect, the price was right, and it was their layout. The price was designed, in our view, to getting multiple bids. So we went in over asking. Yet again, to our dismay, we had to wait a week for a decision. And we got it. 

It wasn’t over, though. Attorneys prepare contracts in White Plain like most of Metro New York, so we had to quickly do our home inspection and then sign the contract. 

And the attorneys couldn’t agree on terms. How snake-bitten could we feel? The other attorney was uncooperative. 

After 3 days of very uncomfortable drama, we got the lawyers on the same page and we finally executed contracts and deposit. Last night we got together to plan what was next with mortgage and appraisal, and decided it would be best to walk next door and eat. Now that contracts were signed, conversation had evolved from solving a rubik’s cube of lawyers and what-ifs, to happier plans: furnishing, decorating, and landscaping. 

Obviously, it ain’t over until it’s over, but I like our position. And we all agree that the view from their new front window will be beautiful. 

We have 3 Cherry Blossom trees in our rear yard that have to be at least 40 years old. In April, when they bloom, it creates an explosion of pink beauty that dominates the view from our rear window. There is something comforting about seeing my children play in their shade. I often think of Mrs. Hilpert, the previous owner of our home, and how much she must have loved those trees. We love them as well. 

I have always loved the spring and everything about it; the tantalizingly close summer to come, the end of school, the shedding of winter coats, the beauty of returned foliage, and all the memories from my 41 prior springs, whether they involved riding my old 5-speed with the high handlebars or how my muse’s hair would shine in sunlight. 

As I got older it meant emergence from hibernation of the winter market to the buzzing activity of buyers and sellers repositioning for the new school year, arranging for the kids summer activities, and other more grown up but equally urgent matters. Regardless, I still get that wonderful feeling in my gut, one of hope, anticipation, and fun. It’s like I earned a reward. 

Sometimes I still feel like I should pinch myself when I look out my window. 

I am your agent. I am a professional. I have a college degree. I value your business; as a matter of fact, if I don’t produce a result for you and my other clients, my kids don’t eat. It is in that context that I am offering this post, in good spirits, good humor, and in all truth. This is a compilation of things I have either wished I told some clients in the past, or in fact did tell them. 

• I don’t carry your file in my car. Even if I did, I can’t read it while driving. So please understand that when I couldn’t give you a clear answer about the sale memorandum from March 2nd it isn’t because I am an incompetent agent, it is because I am a competent driver. 
• My kids typically go to bed between 8:30 and 9pm. If at all possible, I’d like to be there for that. 
• If I tell you that I have to take another call and you don’t let me go, you force me to choose between hanging up on you or screwing another client over. That call could be an attorney I have been trying to reach for 3 days, a town official on a permit, or a short sale negotiator who I need to reach to prevent a foreclosure.
• If I tell you exactly what you need to do to sell your home or get your offer accepted and you don’t take my advice, basic logic dictates that you cannot blame me for the result. 
• If I do not call you back when promised it doesn’t make a me rat fink bastard who is unworthy of your business, it means I was held up in a meeting or had something critical come up that I had to address. You don’t hold it against your attorney if they have to run to court or your doctor if they get called to the ER. Cut me some slack. I wasn’t watching Match Game ’77 on cable. 
• I find pejorative references to my potential commission to be unnecessarily degrading. You don’t know what I keep. 
• Your agent friend in another state doesn’t know how things are done here. I wouldn’t advise you on a deal in California either. 

It all boils down to respect. There may be agents out for a quick buck for no work; I am not one of them. This is my career, and I can do better for you if we have respect and understanding of boundaries. Good fences make good neighbors, and the same goes for agents and clients.   

The crazies are out there. You might be working with one right now and not know it. But they are out there, and they aren’t going to be nice if things don’t go their way. The crazies are the last minute home buyers who want to qualify for the tax credit by April 30. If you have gotten a call or inquiry from a “last minute” buyer in the past week or two, be very careful. At best you may end up spinning your wheels, and at worst you could have a grievance or lawsuit brewing. 

Here’s what I mean: you are contacted by a buyer with the end of April right around the corner. They want to buy before the deadline on the 30th. They either want to see your listing or have you take them on tours. They want to look right now. They even have their pre-approval locked and loaded. They are legit. So you take them out, and lo and behold, you find something your first day out. It is a move-in condition place, great locale, and priced right. They love it. They want it. 

And they make a lowball offer. They are outbid. 

There is still time, so you keep looking and find another place. You admonish them to learn from their mistake and make an aggressive offer. This one has multiple bids! Highest and best! They offer 95% of asking. They lose the house. 

At some point, the people start to get embittered. They have read about the “buyer’s market” in the paper and they wonder aloud if the fix is in. Did you present their offers in person? Did you tell the seller they were good buyers? I thought you were a high-producing agent, why are we 0 for 2? 

The crazies don’t understand the dynamics of the local market. They want a “good deal” and would never think of paying full price. They actually hate deadlines and the stress of buying a home has them on edge. At some point, they start to blame you. Then, your energy is off finding them a home and on defending yourself against accusations from left field. 

• Their friend called the listing agent on the first home they lost and was told it was still available for showing. 
• They emailed the listing agent on the 2nd house and they were encouraged to come look. 
• They found another house that supposedly had an accepted offer advertised on a website. 

What qualifies as hardship in a short sale? I get this question fairly often, and it should be addressed. First, I’ll tell you what does not qualify as hardship, and that is simply being underwater. If you owe more than you are worth, being upside down alone is not adequate hardship to get a short sale approved. That is only half the equation. There has to be a financial hardship. 

In every case of hardship I have ever seen, a loss of income has been involved. It could be unemployment, divorce, being laid off, the failure of a business, or any of a hundred other things, but a loss or decrease of income is absolutely hardship. When your expenses remain the same and your income goes down or disappears, you have a case for hardship. You could be a ditch digger paying a $500 per month mortgage or a brain surgeon paying $10,000 per month. If you lose income, hardship is not hard to prove. In rare cases, income has remained the same but the payment has adjusted up, but the mathematical outcome, namely a deficit, is the same. 

That is as basic a yardstick as I can find. I’d be surprised to find a more common or less complicated theme. 

Loss of income is almost always a case for hardship.